An epiphany

She, I think ​                                       A big nose, chubby cheeks,too small a mouth, pretty eyes.

She, I think
Constant tapping of the fingers, doodles here and there. Silence surrounds but the mind is too loud with pondering.

She, I think
Clumsy and awkward,
unapologetic and candid
Perhaps not always

She, I think
Bold in showering compliments
Bashful in being its reciever

She, I think
An anxious achiever armed with an average skill set

She, I think
Scared and Struggling to experiment

She, I think
Treads up a rocky terrain, hesitant to play in the rain

She, I think
Miles to travel to reach her full potential

She, I think
Needs to jump over those inhibitions,  quit being in vexation

She, I think
Once tasted the blithesome state of being  true to herself

She, I think
Needs to relocate the sparkle, needs to relocate herself

She, I think
Will grab the damn reins again and whisk away, for it’s been too long a tedious break

She, I think
Started this epiphany because of her friend

She, I think
As I think about myself.

More than just a trend..

​Stared at with predatory eyes
Made uncomfortable in public sights
Privacy invaded without any remorse
Themselves upon me those fiends force

A catcall, a crude remark
A brush of fingers none too accidental
Muffled screams of protest in the dark
That ever present shadow cannot  be co-incidental

Much more and much worse has been endured
In a constant fear many have lived
Stayed silent for they might have been censured
For victim blaming often left the sinner unscathed

This nightmare isn’t just yours or mine
Faced by thouands, a never ending line
#metoo isn’t just a trend
It’s a loud message that is long due unsent

‘Harrasment is an issue large than we think
Deserves an action of more than just a blink’

A completely personal rant with absolutely no eloquent language

It’s been a while since I last wrote something….

oh forget it, It’s 2:30am and this is clearly not going to be one of the more refined and articulate blogs. 
But yeah, it has been quite some time since I wrote something new, between the last time my fingers went flying across the keypad and now- I have not really been in a state of absolute serenity. It’s probably because  I am a student in the last year of school and with the ticking clock looming ominously over, anxiety was quick to settle in and reside in my head like the lyrics of an annoying song.

It keeps on repeating at the most random moments and it is genuinely the most frustrating experience.
Anyway, the point is I found myself yearning to connect with words and play with them, feel them in some way. 

I found myself itching to sit down with nothing but my thoughts and spill the glass of  my musings all over the alphabets of this keypad- and here I am.
The last few weeks have been more of a scream- my -heart- out than a sing-my heart-out affair. Even at this very moment I want to scream and then cuddle my pikachu plushie (it’s amazing). But as is evident If I stop the movement of my fingers now, I will probably be in a pathetic mood later.

You see, even though it’s 2:46 am now and there is a dull ache in my neck and my eyes feel heavy, this right here is providing a much needed outlet.
Besides, I may or may not have scolded myself for not taking out time to read something I love or write something I love- simply for the fact that I felt lost without it. 

It was as if a part of me was lifeless and it just felt wrong to neglect reading or writing. 

 

Bottom line is- It’s the things that we love that bring us solace and It is terribly foolish to ever think that something else can be more important than fulfiling our happiness.

I mean sure, I have got all these exams and projects and whatnot but honestly I was  more unproductive without my fortnightly reading/writing routine. 
Doing what you love will probably make you more efficient in other tasks as well. 

You know if you are happy you will not be sulking in a corner on top of the pile of all the work you have, so that’s a win-win situation. 
Here’s hoping that rest of the school year goes well and without too many anxious thoughts.
Alright, it’s 3:07 am now and as much as writing on and on is fun, I still need sleep to function properly at school tommorrow. 
Feeling exhausted yet content.

Divjot